Today

I am really feeling a lot of anxiety, sadness, excitement about finding out what we are having today. I think with the first baby you are so unaware but by the 3rd you really do just it want it to be healthy and it does not matter what it is. This is really a big deal, being a mom already I know all the potentials so much clearer and I wear my heart outside of my body daily already for this little one. That is the anxiety end of all this. The sadness is knowing this is probably the last time I will go and have an ultrasound to find out what we are having. Brian was shocked when I said this last night. He of all people know how much I really dislike being pregnant. I LOVE the outcome but the actual carrying of the baby is not for me, especially at the beginning. I mentioned that maybe in the future we could talk about another one and let's just say the answer I got left me pretty certain we won't be having that discussion. And then I am excited. I am excited to see it, see the fingers, toes, face, everything. To get a little glimpse of our next baby. Excited to see how our family might be changing. Is it a girl? Will we have some pink in this house? Is it a boy? Will we add another wrestler to the mix? I am off to shower and get everybody ready...pray for my nerves!